Sasha's Tea Room
The Two of  Cups empowers us by reminding us the value of relationship. By uniting with another in partnership you may achieve more than you could alone.

The majority of my clients call me for relationship readings. Relationships are what drives our lives and are therefore an inescapable part of our lives whether they fall under the category of romance or friendship. In the end it’s all about how to effectively communicate with others. But in order to do that we must first figure out how to communicate with ourselves.  I would like to say a few things about how we can remove the obstacles that keep us from having the successful relationships we desire.

I have been watching a video series which talks about how having more clarity in one’s life can help us to achieve a better life for ourselves and in the process, better relationships. In her videos specifically about relationships, author Rada Conrad points out three major blocks that keep one from having good relationships with others:

BLAME: when we use this block we seek to make others wrong so we can be right. It is more important to be right then happy and fulfilled in a relationship. When we blame others we make others responsible for our lives and thereby make ourselves victims because we perceive ourselves to lack true power. To resolve conflicts takes courage, truthfulness and a willingness to cooperate with others. We can lift this block of blame by speaking from the heart and mind simultaneously and by realizing that we are the creators of our reality.

COMPARISON: When we use this block it causes us to look outside of ourselves and feel hostile and intimidated towards the people we want to attract thus lowering our vibrations as we feel anxious and insecure about who we are by comparing ourselves to others. Comparison can lead to competition with others as well. We’ve heard or seen the phrase “whoever dies with the most toys wins”. Substitute toys with money or friends and you can see how problematic that statement can be. We can lift this block by encouraging others to be their best and to rejoice when others succeed, knowing that we all rise and fall together.

SELF DOUBT: When we use this block we purposely withhold our truth for fear we will show our faults. We allow self doubt to cause guilt that we do not deserve to be in good relationships. Self defeating thoughts like I am too old, not smart, not attractive; are glaring examples of self doubt manifested by constant negative self talk . We can lift this block by choosing to accept ourselves and to have the courage to honestly share ourselves with others .

Author and artist Sark wrote about her process of falling in love with herself . After a failed relationship she decided to enjoy her own company, not only by living alone but vacationing alone, shopping, dining and going to movies alone. She found herself falling in love with herself was and content that she was good on her own. She decided to “ease out of therapy” and vowed never to go back again now that she no longer had to deal with relationships. And then she met a man. Her point of course was to love yourself and be content with your own company . The circumstances in my own life have given me the opportunity to spend a lot of time alone because my husband has traveled extensively throughout our marriage. These times alone are not only enjoyable but have allowed me to be a more independent person within the framework of a partnership. A few years ago I took a week long vacation by myself to the beach. It was a town we had lived in years ago and I have several friends still there, yet I spent most of my time alone doing the things I wanted, totally on my own time schedule. It was a fantastic experience for me. A relationship can only deter your sense of self and independence if you use it as an excuse for your own lack of willingness to engage in self growth.

Single, married, partnered. In the end it’s all about you.